I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
