She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
