I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
