in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
