theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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