Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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