What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
