the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Randomize
