Just took my morning after pill in the library
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
