I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
