Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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