Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
