I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
