12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
