he puts the penis in happiness.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
