are you still at the devil's house?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My breasts were aching with rage.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
