at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
and you fell through a lawn chair
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
