Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize