He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
