The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
