He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
