I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Randomize
