Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
