This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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