As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
