from now on my penis is your penis
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
