Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
be right there i have to get my cape
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
