shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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