there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
