i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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