goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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