i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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