Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
