My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
