Define "chronic" masturbator.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
