I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
