Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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