Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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