wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
