Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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