ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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