If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
well you can't waste a boner
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
