I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Princesses don't give blow jobs
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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