i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
