there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
