My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
