You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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