The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
