sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just want nice things and good sex
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize