Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
