He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
