I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
