I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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