please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
