i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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