I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
