No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
