Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize