people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
