yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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