yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
