I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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