It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
