You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
