it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
