Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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