It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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