i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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